So many generations of children were raised to be defensive because we were always in trouble for something, or criticized in some way. As a result, when another person is angry with us, we immediately jump into defending ourselves. “Your hair needs cutting!” Response: “Well, I’ve been really busy, and so…..” A favorite attack is […]

I put the quote above in a message to friends and one person said, ‘”Easier said than done!” I wrote back, “There are things you can change and things you can’t change. For the things you can’t change it’s your attachment to the idea that they will change, should change or must change that causes […]

IN 2015, I had open heart surgery. Since then, I have been on a roller coaster ride, going in and out of A-fib. Recently, my heart stopped beating for a couple of seconds, more than one time. So I ended up seeing doctor after doctor, with a new plan for staying alive. What I have […]

I can remember when my son, Scott, was young (5 or 6); he would stand and watch the island get smaller as our boat moved away from it. Tears ran down his face. He loved, Avalon on Catalina Island. Although he loved the fishing and freedom, what he also liked was who he was when […]

(Hang in with me on this part:) Eric Bern’s “Transactional Analysis” changed my children’s lives. There are three aspects to our personality: Parent (not to be confused with the people who birthed us)–Adult and Child. The Parent has two parts, Critical Parent and Nurturing Parent. The Adult is like Spock, very logical and precise. The Child […]

We were not taught to learn from our mistakes! What more is a mistake than a choice that would have carried your life a different direction than it did. A poor choice! If I had a nickel for every poor choice I’ve made, I’d be Opra-rich! Mistakes are the way we learn—and Life seems to […]

People have heard me say that my dear mother was an Olympic criticizer. She labeled people and made snap judgments about them. So how did I not inherit that trait? I did! And then I was blessed to work with lots of families when I taught school, when I taught parenting for 60 years, when […]

It was one of those trying to catch up with your list kinda days, and I was late getting things together for a monthly group Christmas meeting. My appetizer made, white elephant gift wrapped, I charged off into the night. Because the appetizer was hot, I put it on a folded over towel on the […]

In a class I was teaching, I suggested that one needs to try every day to do something for someone who can never repay you. The class went into major overwhelm, so I asked, “What things might you do to fulfill this requirement? Feed a homeless person, sponsor a child, take a complete meal to […]

When I was a teenager, I had exploded in front of my parents, and had taken my sobbing self to my room, thrown myself on the bed. My father came in, sat by my side for awhile, then spoke, “Darling when you get through feeling sorry for yourself, try counting your blessings.” What impressed me […]